you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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