im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
