mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
