my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
