margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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