Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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