You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
