She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
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All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
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Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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