Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
