So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
