I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
