what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
