Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize