i was rollin on her like bob the builder
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
