I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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