I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When are your genitals available?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
