i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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