OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
