I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
