My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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