I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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