Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
