after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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