come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
