Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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