I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
