I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
