We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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