well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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