i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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