She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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