All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize