when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Randomize
