So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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