saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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