i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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