He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
