hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
