I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
