you have to choose: penises or morals?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize