At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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