Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
