Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
