Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
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Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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