I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
you made out with another girl for some wings
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
