Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
