careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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