doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I won't apologize to a one balled man
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
