man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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