I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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