found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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