Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
