my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
