The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
