Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize