I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
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Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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