I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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