she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
