Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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