Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
