my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
