Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
