wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
