my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
