I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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