Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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