Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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