Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
